Some of the thoughts which did not fit to yesterday's story (written last week but updated to the blog on X-mas eve)

Yesterday I didn't love Indian people for a short time, for the first time. I felt like really frustrated since I didn't understand them at all in the way of organizing everything. Or if I put it in my way, of course I loved but it wasn't the first feeling on the top but hiding behind the frustration. Yes, in the same way as the sun shines all the time but sometimes the clouds hide the sun. Today morning I got the lovely feeling back. I can't help smiling whenever I see the small, cute things how people manage their lives in here.

Like a block away from our P.G. there're two old men who iron the clothes every morning when I pass them by - even my shirts tomorrow morning. But today morning the other man was warming up his iron.. He had the red, burning chunks of coal inside the iron and he was just blowing some fire to them. I really made me smile. "Tekemisen meininki" I'd say in Finnish but how to describe it in English? I've seen those irons in museums and at my grand-parents place in the garage or somewhere hidden or abandoned. That man seemed to be perfectly happy starting with his wireless tool and I loved to see that. Aren't these people lovely?!

Every day I end up wondering something as well as finding myself feeling guilty, cruel or just having bad conscious. I know none those feelings help to make the world better but still those feelings come.. but they go also as soon as something makes me laugh, smile and enjoy (and that happens also constantly).

My roomie found some bugs in her bed and she was cathing them with a paper and putting them to the water (these people do not kill any bugs or insects - and from killing a mosquito I do get bad conscious nowadays). Funny how the environment influences (but I do admit that I've killed some bugs and insects anyway and I just try to live with it). Anyway, when watching the bug haunt, I did laugh my ass off. The tears were just running from my eyes while laughing. I was checking the bugs with a huge interest when they were swimming in the water - like a child seeing something special for the first time. And my extreme interest in bugs was just funny for my roomies and I did make them laugh as well. I've never seen those bugs earlier but I'm sure my grand-mother would recognize them. I'm sure we have them also in Finland. The girls, my roomies I mean, were just telling me that I should be here during the rainy season - then I would really see a lot of different kinds of bugs. Small bugs I can watch as long as they do not attack me but cockroches - my God, please help me! I don't want to approach them since they are BIG in here and they make weird noises.

It just reminds me how my dear friend was studying Hindi in the North India and she was fighting against the big spiders. Living with all those bugs and other things is so normal for so many people and we Finns find it so difficult stand. I would almost like to say "ladies" but I've been always telling "I'm not a lady, I do work for my living" and I hate it when someone calls me "lady". But, this world - India- gives perspective, so welcome here anytime.

Did I mention already how my inner green activist gets some reality and challenge in here? Well, well.. First of all, who has heard about the recycling in here? Well of course they have but it's somewhat much more difficult to recycle the things in here. What about: who is recycling something in here? Nope, I'm not getting frustrated but my brains are over-heating just by thinking how this could be changed or organized. I'm sure there's a way to do that. I love though how the people, auto-ricksaw drivers and others turn off the engine when staying in the lights some five minutes and they start the engine as soon as they see the cars in the front of them moving. Well, that's also part of saving money also. How much the starting the engine takes the energy from the balanced "running"? Engineers, feel free to tell me, please. Anyway, about the traffic, this city is FULL of cars, auto-ricksaws, motorcycles, scooters and other vehicles.

The second thing are the plastic bags. These people get more plastic bags within a week more than I get within a half year normally in Finland. In the shops sometimes each item is packed in their own plastic bags and they all will be placed in another bigger plastic bag. And if you say "no thanks, I don't need a plastic bag but I can put them in my backbag" the people STARE AT you and they can't say a word. Or if they say, it might be easily "are you crazy? Everyone needs a plastic bag! How you're going to carry these things to your home?" Normally they are just wordless. Anyway, I try to live with this as well.

Lovely thing is that when we are ordering "dosas" for lunch, they normally come inside a banana leaf. :) Anyway, why people would waste banana leafs when you have to cut the whole tree as soon as you have picked up the bananas. The tree is not making the bananas second time. People are used to put the food also inside the newpapers. I've been wondering how much I've eaten the ink already but maybe it's in the balance - earlier I was eating a lot of meat and now I have eaten like twice during the whole stay in India. The vegetarian food in here is EXCELLENT! I wonder if I should hire an Indian cook for myself and take him/her to Finland. Well, no - I don't want to make a happy person miserable. Let them stay where they are happy.

In one morning this week, when we went really early to the office, there was still the night guard at the door and obviously he was sleeping when we passed him by in the stairs. He stood up immediately when he heard some steps next to him and I was what he had in his hand - a razor-blade. My God I got scared. Well, yes, a cheap self-defence if you end up fighting but I was totally wordless. Wouldn't you harm yourself with it as well? Normally I smile and say "Good morning" to everyone when I see them in the building (it's only our office which is in the building) but nothing came from my mouth but I just ran upstairs.

In the evenings people, also women seem to roam around in here and they seem not to be scared but I am when I walk alone in the darkness. In the land of powercuts I do not want to end up in a small street on the way home when the lights go off. Sometimes the thought of my Swiss knife helps me, I'm carrying it normally always with me since I need to peel the fruits often in here. In here we haven't had anyway so many powercuts. A few in the office and sometimes here at home like today at home.

This P.G. has its own solar power which warms up the water. The warm water does not come automatically anyway but you have to go to the roof to switch the warm water on in the mornings. I normally get up the first so I learned that just lately. Until that I just sometimes managed to get a bit of warm water and normally just cold for washing but I didn't mind, it's refreshing and ecological. The "shower" is like in the summer cottages in Finland. You have a big bowl and smaller "kuuppa" which you use for putting water on yourself. I do love that system in here, don't ask why. But since last year I've been dreaming of the "shower" together with my boyfriend in this way. Maybe I would just need someone to hear me screaming or grasping the air when trying to breath. Or maybe this is not a dream but just a feeling which I would like share with everyone. I still don't understand why I love to be in here so much and why I do enjoy this everything which I would not love in Finland. Maybe one day I'll understand.

Ok, sleeping time.. Hurray! The second time I managed to write already!! PARTY!! *dancing on the table and singing loud*

I got a call today from Opu and it was so nice to hear a dear voice so close but still so far. I haven't been calling to anyone else but to my parents and not even to them too often. I'm so bad in keeping in touch with everyone but I do love too many people. As long as I manage to make people smile, I'm happy and I don't worry about the calls. G'nite..